THEE BLOG 365

So. Today is reflection day. If you have been reading religiously or once in a while...or know me REALLY well...you know what today is. Pause. Think. If not...then I will tell you. Today is my one year anniversary in Paris. One year ago on New Years Eve I was on a plane flying to Paris. I arrived on January 1st. Here I am again...January 1st. Strange. I'm a whole new person. I like it.

First off...I really have to be selfish. For me to pick up and move...normal. As an actress I was always going from one job to another in a different state. But to move to Paris (for what was supposed to only be 9 months!!), far from my mommy and daddy, a WHOLE new career, new language, and a place where i know NO ONE and have no "security blanket" with me (except softee! ha) is a BIG step for me. I was scared shitless when I did it. But I've grown because of it. I am proud of myself for taking that step. I know because of it, I can ONLY go further. So i have to pat myself on the back.

Next...i HAVE to thank my mom and dad. I know they read my blog religiously. And I don't know if I tell them enough how much I appreciate this opportunity. But i think they can tell. In any case...I know when I first told them on July 22, 2006 my parents were both very excited...but my mom was hesitant. She still wants me to come home ;) But I think for the both of us...it's been a great experience. Well i know on my part...it's good to be separated (and i know my readers know my mom!) She's great...but a handful! heehee. love you mommy. In any case, I owe them everything. Being in Paris is AMAZING. I couldn't ask for a better life. How many people do I know (besides the ones I went to school with) can say they lived in Paris for a year? I'm so lucky, so fortunate and I have to thank my parents. THANK YOU if i don't say it enough.

Now...my blog. Today was my 365th post. I did that on purpose. And I thought about the reason I blog. Many reasons. My blog IS my "security blanket". I know when I have a problem I blog. When I feel like I've had too much "french" i come to my Americans and blog. It's a place where I can ALWAYS speak English and EVERYONE understands it! And it's a place where I can rant, rave, bitch, complain, brag, share my fun and I don't get anyone screaming in my ear! I can just let loose! I can talk and no one talks back :) It's like a dog! Wonderful. But it's relaxing for me. I can just talk. Now, that being said...i would like more comments from people...but it's OK! Just to know you are reading it enough for me! But THANK YOU for reading. It's nice to know there are some people out there that care!

As far as my change...I've made new friendships this year which I HOPE i keep in touch with them and I've also lost some. And that's OK. That's what life is about. People change. I'm not hurt about it...but like I said in my resolution post...i need to move on (which is hard for me). I keep trying to find a way to make contact with those old friends and it doesn't work. So...get over it! While I've been gone TONS of people have gotten engaged/married. It's like now is the time. I'm happy everyone is so happy. And thank you all for being concerned about my love life...but my career is more important right now...so I'm focusing on that. Love will come...I'm sure of it ;) It takes time like everything else. Oh, and my weight. Yes I've put on pounds. But right now I'm actually losing some weight by just enjoying eating. It's a whole new way of looking at food. And I've never been so happy...and that's the important thing! So if i can eat what I want, look and feel good that's all i can ask for! Other changes...I found a phobia I had that I never knew I had before...stairs. Strangest thing. But I have a fear of falling down/or up stairs. I get scared actually. I don't know if there is a word for this or not. I mean I still take the stairs...but it's a fear I have and every time I walk stairs I think what would happen if I fell all the way down. Freaks me out! It's a new thing though. Otherwise...I really have changed a lot...but you have to be with me to notice them. I am sure when I get home everyone will notice the difference. Whether you think it's a good thing or a bad...it's me. And people change for the better or worse all the time...and you can choose if you want to deal with it or not...but I'm happy :)

So...I am closing this chapter. After this one year in Paris I know anything is possible. I am looking forward to it ;) Keep reading my blog...cause i won't stop...promise.